We like to think of factory farm animals as a kind of fuzzy co-worker. We want them to have a nice life while keeping costs down.

So, we want CAFO farmers to consider a couple of simple, cheap ideas:

• Farm Radios - Play the barn some music. Animals like it, it decreases their stress level, gives them something to keep them from being bored. It's going to reduce the level of stress hormones in the meat, too!
  
  
  
• Zonked-Out Slaughter - Just knock the little fellow out first, am I wrong? Just pass them through a room full of cheap old nitrous oxide. It can probably be produced on-site?
  

Doing these two things, and advertising it, will improve your product and our animal pals' lives. So why not?

"SKRAWK! It's a living!" is our standard, as the bird says. "This ain't the Ritz," but then again, not too shabby a life, ey?